Today’s Other Random Thought (07-JAN-2025)

Life undoubtedly has its share of petty annoyances, frustrations, and irritations, as well as those more challenging moments when letting out a primal scream and going absolutely berserk feels like it would be quite a reasonable response. I am not currently inclined to compile a list of these “challenges” to maintaining one’s dignity and one’s sense of calm and wellbeing. My list likely wouldn’t match your list anyway, as we are all individuals with our own lists of behaviors, circumstances, experiences, and situations that push our buttons. But one such threat to my cool came to mind today and I am going to vent a little bit. If you have experienced a similar situation, I suspect that I am not alone in my disdain for this one.

Thankfully it isn’t a regular occurrence (if it was a regular occurrence it just might be a ME problem), but it is shockingly frustrating and infuriating when it has happened. What is it you ask? It is when I am supposedly aware, informed, in-the-loop, in-the know, or otherwise knowledgeable about something that is actually a complete, total fucking mystery to me. And the person holding the position that I AM in-the-know is insistent that is absolutely the case and adamantly refuses to provide this information of which I am supposedly already privy.

From that point of absurdity begins this ridiculous dance where I am trying to get a handle on the situation by asking entirely reasonable questions designed to gather information and I am met by insistent proclamations that, “You know” or “I already told you.” Instead of taking my protestations at face value and giving me the benefit of the doubt, I get repeatedly stonewalled and shut down as I stumble around in a darkness borne of genuine ignorance and a dearth of relevant information.

It seems so childish, that I actually have trouble believing that adults would willingly choose to engage in such fruitless and pointless interactions. Maybe that gleans a nugget of truth as to what underlies and perhaps fuels such an interaction. Obviously, if you were looking for a solution or an understanding involving another person, you would work towards that goal by accepting that contrary to your perception of what has transpired, actual, effective communication has NOT taken place and you would work towards changing that fact by communicating with that other person in a meaningful way. But it seems rather apparent that a person that is steadfastly refusing to accommodate a simple request for further information or clarification is not interested in solutions. He or she is not interested in facilitating an understanding. He or she quite simply can’t be bothered to answer questions.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!”

Now in certain situations, I can understand why one party might make a point of stubbornly refusing to provide clarification or an answer to questions posed. Namely, I could see it as a response to a student or trainee goofing off and not paying attention during instructional time. I could see an instructor using the student’s or trainee’s confusion to highlight the importance of paying attention when instructions are being provided. But outside of this particular environment, it seems like such tactics are just avoidance tactics. Namely, I expect that it is primarily an attempt to avoid a conversation or to desperately hold onto a preferred narrative for why something is happening or why there is a problem. I certainly can’t hope to engage someone in conversation when I don’t know what is going on or why what is happening is happening. Perhaps that is the point. He or she quite simply doesn’t care whether or not you know and he or she isn’t interested in having a conversation with you.

Anyway, I remembered a time when two classmates that were a couple approached me about supposedly speaking ill of them. I knew nothing about it and it was kind of laughable because I didn’t think about them enough to warrant any gossip. Fortunately, I was finally able to convince them that I didn’t know what they were talking about and avoided a physical altercation at a time in my life when I was more reluctant to engage in such “shenanigans.” That memory stirred up other thoughts and memories. And that’s how you can sometimes get inspiration for a blog post. 😉