Listen Up, Fellas

It is true that guys will be genuinely happy when one of their buddies finds a woman that makes him happy, that seems to genuinely care for him, and that genuinely seems to be a good person. “Jessie’s Girl” scenarios aside, we want our male friends to be happy and we want for them to be cared for by someone that treats them well. That doesn’t mean that some guy won’t betray his friend’s trust and make a move on his girlfriend or wife or give in to his girlfriend’s or wife’s advances towards him. Not all men are saints and we can fall short in the friendship/“bro code” department. And yes, men can get frustrated when a new romantic relationship results in them not seeing their friend as often as they are accustomed to seeing him. But again, as a general rule, we want our male friends to be happy. When a guy announces that he is getting married or seeing someone exclusively, his friends are almost invariably happy for him. That doesn’t mean that they won’t bust his balls, particularly if one or more of them is a confirmed bachelor-for-life type. But all kidding and joking aside, such an announcement is generally met with happiness and enthusiasm. I know that this isn’t really news to guys.

But listen up, fellas. Sometimes your buddies don’t like the new woman. Perhaps it is just a personality thing. We don’t always mesh well with other people and sometimes we grate on others and others grate on us. It happens. Guys will generally (there’s that word again) make an effort to get along for a friend’s sake.

However, there are times when one or more of our male friends just doesn’t like a woman and they have reasons. Perhaps they don’t like her “playful” verbal jabs aimed at their friend that seem unnecessarily cruel and hurtful. Perhaps they have noticed her being flirtatious with other men. Perhaps they don’t like the way that she disrespects him in the presence of others. Perhaps they don’t like the criticism that she casually lobs at their buddy. Perhaps they feel that she doesn’t seem to reciprocate his affection, attention, devotion, and energy.

If one or more of your male friends expresses his concerns about your new love, you should probably at least hear him out and give what he says due consideration. I’m not saying that such criticism or reservations are necessarily fair, valid, and warranted. But sometimes people can see things clearer from the outside of the relationship. And sometimes not. You will have to weigh what you are hearing with what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, and otherwise experiencing in the relationship. Our hearts and our emotions can sometimes lead us astray and towards trouble and heartbreak. Listening to a trusted friend just might help us to avoid that trouble and heartbreak.

I’m willing to bet that most guys can think of a relationship that ultimately didn’t work out where one or more of that guy’s buddies had concerns. Sometimes those concerns were voiced to the friend in question during the relationship. Other times the guy found out about the concerns in the aftermath of a breakup.

If a buddy comes to you with his concerns about a woman that you are seeing or voices such concerns in your presence, it is entirely possible that he is genuinely concerned for you and that he is worried about how this particular relationship might adversely affect you. If you trust your friend, it might be a good idea to listen to what he has to say.

I got to pondering this reality while watching a YouTube video. Emily of the @emilywking YouTube channel seeks to dispel the notion that men do not get genuinely, enthusiastically happy for their male friends when they find someone. If you are interested, you can watch the video “short” by clicking on the link below.

https://youtube.com/shorts/tcFz315SJzs?si=0ITZkeF6RG70dBpL