A Reasonably Happy and Contented Pirate

A loved one recently reached out to me to see if I was doing okay after reading something on my blog. In hindsight, I could see why someone that cares about me might decide to check up on me based upon a couple of my recent posts, "Closing Doors" (https://gregorymaness.wixsite.com/website/post/closing-doors and "I Couldn't Wait for an Apology" (https://gregorymaness.wixsite.com/website/post/i-couldn-t-wait-for-an-apology). But the posts were not proof that I was in crisis and were not intended to be interpreted as a cry for help. I am doing okay.

Those posts were me sharing some thoughts from Ms. Morgan Richard Olivier along with some additional thoughts of my own. I was riffing on her thoughts by drawing from pain and heartbreak in my own past. It wasn't as though I am dealing with some current crisis. I was just considering Ms. Olivier's posted thoughts and applying my own history to those thoughts.

I have been busted up emotionally and left to deal with my hurt feelings and my broken heart. I have had to close the door on a painful past and close my heart to someone that treated me with undisguised contempt. I can recall needing to acknowledge what had happened, to forgive this person (and myself) in the absence of an apology, and to acknowledge the importance of "...moving forward from this desolate place and creating a world for myself where I can be happy again." So yes, I can see why my thoughts being expressed were kind of "dark."

As I have mentioned before, emotional pain can be almost as breathtakingly painful today as it was the first time that you felt it. With physical pain you likely remember having been in pain, but thankfully your recollection isn't usually accompanied by actual physical pain stemming from the long ago injury or ailment. I guess when I recalled that previous emotional pain, some of it carried over to my comments so that the wounding came across as a recent trauma.

It was an old wound that left a scar. If I spend much time lost in ruminations and looking back at the events of that time in my life, I can still dredge up some significant hurt. So I try not to go down that road. I have moved on with my life. What choice do I have? Life is going to throw some people into your path that will hurt you if you give them half a chance. But I am still standing, I am still flying the black flag, and I am still enjoying the journey. Fair winds and following seas, my friends. 🏴‍☠️🙂