“You were lucky.”

That was the response that I recently heard from a loved one when discussing the pulmonary embolism that I suffered earlier this year. I have been told as much by others before that knew of my experience with PE. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t grasp that reality. A pulmonary embolism is evidently a legitimate medical emergency.

http://www.secondscount.org/heart-condition-centers/info-detail-2/pulmonary-embolism-pe-is-medical-e

I know that pulmonary embolisms can kill. A number of the people that have told me how lucky I was, knew someone that had died of one. I am certainly appreciative that I pulled through as well as I did.

And I feel like emotionally and mentally I did fairly well. I know that being incapacitated to the degree that I was and feeling like a man suddenly grown old brought with it some emotional upheaval. I did self-report an instance of extreme irritability to my primary care provider during a follow-up visit after being released from the hospital. She was supportive and understanding. I declined a prescription for something to help. I don’t know if it was an after effect of my experience, but I know that talking about it helped.

Yet the scare really hasn’t resulted in some profound change in my outlook. The sky wasn’t bluer and the stars didn’t shine more brightly. While I certainly considered the possibility that I was dying, I don’t know that I truly believed it. Or maybe I did. I certainly wasn’t at my best and I don’t recall it as clearly now. Or perhaps I don’t want to recall it.

The thing is that I recognize that I have been lucky before. I have been lucky many times before. Sometimes that luck has come in the form of people. People that treated me when I was sick or injured. People that offered up a word of advice, criticism, support, or warning. People that counseled me, educated me, mentored me, and trained me. People to tell me that they cared for me, that they loved me, and that they were in my corner. People that stood shoulder-to-shoulder with me or covered my blindside. Not all of these people were a fixture in my life and not all of them were there long-term. That doesn’t discount the ”luck” that they brought to my life. I owe my thanks to my human four-leaf clovers, my lucky rabbits’ feet, and the Power that brought them into my life. Thanks!