“Winsome Smile” (Chris Smither)

The first song that I heard performed by Chris Smither was "What It Might Have Been " (https://gregorymaness.wixsite.com/website/post/what-it-might-have-been-chris-smither). Fantastic blues song. That song led me to giving him and his music a closer look. That led me to discovering this gem, "Winsome Smile."

At fifty-three years of age, I sometimes find myself thinking about previous romantic relationships. I figure that is somewhat inevitable. Something will remind me of the past and I will briefly go back to that moment in time. I generally don't linger and I usually just smile at the memory. Even some of the bad memories from my more distant past do little more than elicit a wry smile now.

I generally don't get myself in an emotional twist performing some kind of relationship autopsy when I look back at a relationship that has ended. I generally don't beat myself up because of things that I said, did, didn't say, or didn't do during a relationship that has ended. I just reminisce and move on with my day or night.

With that being said, I have allowed myself on a few occasions to wallow in my misery for far too long in the immediate aftermath of a failed relationship. I have labored under the mistaken assumption that I could resuscitate a failed relationship if only I could speak to the other person when that person was clearly finished with the relationship (I still believe that it is a kindness to give a friend or former love the opportunity to ask questions, find a measure of closure, and say goodbye). And I have mourned some failed relationships when quite frankly I should have wildly celebrated their demise. I have been guilty of losing myself in ruminations that don't contribute to my happiness.

If I had a son and he was about to start dating, I would play this song for him and talk with him about it afterwards. I would encourage him to have fun, to take it slow, to be kind to both himself and his partner, and if it ends to mourn the loss for a time and then move on with his life. I would remind him that he deserves to be happy (something that a good friend reminded me of not all that long ago). For that matter, I would share this song and my thoughts on this with a daughter if I had one.

Anyway, here is a link to the fun, humorous song that has helped me find my winsome smile (and occasionally a wry smile) when I reflect upon the past. Enjoy!