Walking Uphill Both Ways to Use the Payphone

”You young whippersnapper! Back when I was your age, if I broke down somewhere and needed to call for help, I had to walk uphill both ways just to borrow someone’s phone or to find and use a payphone! You kids are SOFT!” 😝

I was reminiscing yesterday morning after work and I remembered what it was like being in a relationship with a girlfriend that lived in a different area code in a time before cellphones, texting, and video conferencing. That got me to remembering life before cellphones were deemed an essential item to own and when all phones were still connected by a cord.

Technology advances and we are all witnesses to its march. I expect that with the advent and rise of the airplane, the automobile, the air conditioner, the microwave oven (or radar range), the telegraph, and the telephone itself, there were also adults reminiscing about what their lives were like before those technological wonders were unveiled. And even the young whippersnappers, that would be inclined to roll their eyes and moan "OK, boomer" at Ye Olde Man's ramblings, will almost certainly look back at future technological "gee whiz" moments in their lifetimes with a certain amount of nostalgia and perhaps even fond memories of their lives before an innovation that they once didn't know that they needed.

I remember the earliest cell phones. I just didn't know anyone that had one. The early ones were about the size of a brick. I actually was "gifted" one by my father many years after smartphones were on the market. I think he thought that I might find it valuable or something that I could have use for in an emergency. In hindsight, I should have taken it inside a cellular store and asked for a coverage plan just to see the look on the salesperson's face when I brought that relic into the store. Of course, the earliest models were mounted in cars and were pretty pricey.

While Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm were going on, I found work as a security guard at chemical and petroleum plants. At one of the facilities to which I was assigned, the security company provided the guard on duty with a portable phone that came in a big bag with a shoulder strap to house the phone and the batteries. We didn't have access to the office phones and they wanted us to have a means of calling for the cavalry if we saw something suspicious or threatening. My dad probably used something similar when he was in the U.S. Army Signal Corps before I was born. I did get a good laugh from a plant employee there when I told him that if I saw a bomb, I was going to leave the gates open and call it in from the Burger King down the road.

Back before cellphones, smartphones and text messages, you had to pick up the phone and make plans as to when and where to meet. Well, that was true unless you wanted to be a little more cavalier and just wander around until you ran into some friends.

That isn't necessarily impossible even at a big gathering. I attended a number of tailgate parties in college where I just walked about the tailgating grounds until I ran into some friends. I also once met up with some friends at the annual beach music festival at Carolina Beach in much the same way. Me and a couple of friends bypassed the lines and waded ashore. We just happened to come ashore at the very time and place that some other friends that we had intended to meet were walking past. Good times!

And what happened if you made plans only for something to come up unexpectedly and you were going to be delayed? Your friends waited or moved on with the plan. You might have to improvise. You might later have to have a debriefing and figure out who f^*ked up and why. Now you can be more spontaneous. You can show up somewhere and give your crew your 10-20 by texting them messages like "I am standing next to the fountain in front of the entrance.”

Today's young lovers are never going to know the trials and tribulations of long distance calls and the sheer terror of opening the dreaded telephone bill. They will never know the couple's agreement to only call so many times and for so many minutes in an effort to rein in those monthly telephone bills. And if the phone that you called from was in your parent's name? OH MY! That was some additional drama that was never welcome. Take my word for it, young'uns. You can be thankful that you do not have to dance the Dance of the Outrageous Long Distance Phone Bill.

Of course, privacy could always be a concern with the old phones with cords. If you were fortunate, you had a long cord that allowed you to get away from family members, friends, and roommates that might be eavesdropping. If you were really fortunate, you had a cordless phone or an extension in your room. Of course, that didn’t mean that someone might not accidentally or intentionally pick up on another phone in the home.

And I remember a time before caller ID and answering machines or voicemail. Imagine having to actually take a call to find out who was calling! Imagine racing through your home to get to the phone before it stopped ringing!

Of course, before the latest communications advances, you were not expected to be in quite as much close contact all the time. Frankly, I didn’t want a cellphone. I enjoyed being unreachable at times. I reconsidered my stance somewhat when I broke down outside a store and went inside to ask if I could borrow the phone. The young person at the customer service desk appeared to be dazed and confused. It was as though he was trying to process me asking him for his mom’s phone number. Eventually he passed me the phone so that I could call AAA. In time, I got a flip-phone as a gift and I eventually progressed to a smartphone. There is no going back now short of a catastrophic technological crash.

Today's young people might be able to get away with claiming that they didn't have coverage and that is why they didn't call or text. Before cellphones, if you didn't have a payphone that was convenient or you chose not to find one from which to make a call, you might have some explaining to do.

I once got caught up in helping a friend with towing his car. The problem was that I was supposed to be getting ready for a date. Now don't get me wrong. I could have found a payphone and updated my girlfriend. She would have been cool with that explanation. But I didn't. Then I compounded my error by going home to shower before showing up at her house quite late. Again without calling. What can I say? I liked to live on the razor's edge evidently and I wasn't particularly wise. When I arrived, she was sharpening knives and the look that she gave me could have frozen water. Fortunately, after some tense moments where I maintained my distance and kept a dining room table between us, we actually had a really pleasant evening together.

Coverage issues aside, not updating a romantic partner or friend is probably even less excusable with today’s communication technology. Then again, if you are wont to act rude or foolishly, you will undoubtedly find a way regardless of the technology. Fortunately, I learned quickly that I had to be more considerate and keep people in the loop.

The ability to reach people from almost anywhere is awesome. Being constantly under an expectation of instant contact does have its drawbacks though. But if you can eliminate or manage the drawbacks, you can enjoy the best aspects of the technology.