Take the Money and Run

🤔

I saw this posted on Facebook some time ago and I had some thoughts. I figured that I would get around to writing something on this, but I had been working some long nights/mornings at the time. So it took some time for me to get back to this.

You have probably guessed which way that I am leaning today based upon the title of this blog entry. But I must acknowledge the temptation that would exist for me if the magical/mystical or scientific/technological means existed to go back in time to revisit some of my actions and decisions.

When I was younger, I used to enjoy the NBC television show, Quantum Leap, starring Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell. Scott Bakula's Dr. Sam Beckett jumped through time into the body of someone in that timeline righting wrongs and helping people that are destined for better outcomes to put their futures back on the right track. He did this with the help of his friend from his own timeline, Dean Stockwell's Al, that appears to him as a hologram. It is interesting, fascinating even, to consider what Sam and Al might be sent back into time to set right in my life.

Now I have made mistakes and I have some regrets. But nothing that I find particularly crushing or troubling (well aside from a couple unfortunate decisions that led to embarrassing, unpleasant experiences with law enforcement officers). I learned a long time ago not to think in terms of "I should have." I have also learned that if I had really known better about something, I probably wouldn't have acted or decided as I did. And I realize that I have played the game with the cards that I have been dealt. Some doors were closed to me, such as being unable to pursue a desired career in the military due to me being asthmatic. And for better and worse, I have had my share of interactions with people that have proven to be blessings, curses, and neutral experiences. Not every aspect of my life was one-hundred percent in my control, even if I am ultimately responsible for my own actions and decisions.

My "mistakes" have led me to where I am right now. I truthfully can't say that I ever foresaw myself living in rural Northern Illinois driving an 18-wheeler for a living. Would I make different decisions and perhaps take different actions were I to be presented with such a fantastic opportunity? Yes, almost certainly. But I could see me being wracked with doubts and trepidation.

The people that we can encounter can be treasures. Sure, they can betray us and hurt us. But I have met some wonderful people and I have made some wonderful friends (at least among those that were actual friends). It is almost a certainty that making different decisions and taking different actions would result in our paths never crossing, unless one believes that people destined to be important to us will invariably encounter us in some fashion. I would hate to consider who amongst my friends would pass me like a ship in the night without connecting.

But what about adversaries or outright enemies? Well, I consider myself fortunate not to have made too many of those, although I guess that you never really know who secretly has it out for you. What about women that have broken my heart with their cruelty, their duplicity, their indifference, or the fact that they simply didn't love me or care for me enough to treat me better than they did? Again, I don't have a long list of women that I would consider removing from my life entirely so that we never were more than acquaintances if such a thing were a possibility.

Truthfully, I would probably be inclined to go back in time to do things differently with a few young ladies from my high school years. I have always liked girls and I was never "fearful" or overly uncomfortable around them. But I wasn't particularly confident in the romance/relationship department. In fact, the young women that I am thinking of were friends or acquaintances. I spent a decent bit of time with a couple of them outside of classes, but I never expressed my romantic interest to either of them. Another young lady was a younger classmate with whom I talked with a bit in class. On a school trip in which our activity bus got stuck, she was cold and accepted my offer to wear my varsity letter jacket. And she was far more beautiful in it than I ever was. 😉 Truth be told, I could write a blog post about my regrets about not asking one or more of these young women out on a date. But to go back in time to fix my mistakes? Again, I would have my doubts and trepidations. Would making a change mean that I wouldn't meet someone else that I cared about or loved?

Finally, I have made my mistakes honestly based upon who I was at the time and based upon the information that I had available to me. Who is to say that I wouldn't make entirely new mistakes and that some of these mistakes might result in unpleasant consequences? I can't.

If you have the means to offer me the choice between me revisiting my past life to make changes or $10M, I will take the money. That is a life-changing sum (particularly if I don't have to give a massive chunk of it to the government in taxes). I am a simple man and I could probably live out the rest of my days and still have a damn fine time. I might even be able to fix some of my mistakes without traveling back in time.