Loneliness Can Be a Real Killer

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Loneliness kills. -- Dr. Robert Waldinger, psychiatrist

This time of year can be a particularly difficult time for many people. For some, this is true because of the pressures applied as a result of unreasonable expectations both internal and external to the individual. For some others, this is due to the added pressures that come from interacting with family members, some of whom may be particularly adept at pushing one's buttons. And, of course, feelings of isolation and loneliness can be exacerbated during the holiday season when the focus of the holidays is so commonly portrayed as being a season for spending time with friends and loved ones. Frankly, the holiday season can be a difficult time for someone for all of these reasons and for additional reasons not stated here.

I came across the TEDx presentation (click second link below) "What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness" via a link in an article on Dungeons & Dragons by Mike Shea, "Playing D&D Can Save Your Life" (click first link below). I certainly believe that roleplaying games can provide hours of entertainment and enjoyment for those that choose to play them. I likewise believe that the social aspect of those games has the potential to bestow very real benefits to the individuals that choose to participate in a roleplaying game group. While it is possible to play in a roleplaying game and not spend much time socializing with the group outside of the time spent playing the game, in my experience the time spent socializing with others in the group before, during, and after the game is part of the appeal. And while the interactions between the players may be limited to those taking place around the scheduled playing sessions, there are doubtless cases of players that met one another at a game session and whose friendship blossomed to include time spent together outside of the scheduled games. But regardless of whether or not one spends time interacting and socializing with their fellow players outside of the game sessions, the social interactions and time spent with others during the game sessions can certainly contribute to one's feelings of belonging and inclusion.

Of course, getting together with other likeminded enthusiasts for pretty much any passion or pursuit has the potential to contribute to those feelings of belonging and inclusion. A club or gathering of enthusiasts of board games, wargaming, books, gardening, group fitness, martial arts, sports, or other recreational pursuits can provide us with the opportunity to help keep loneliness at bay. And the great thing about such activities is that activity groups and clubs are often actively looking for new members and are generally very welcoming to those that seek out other likeminded enthusiasts.

When one is lonely, it can sometimes be tough to seek out companionship. The great thing about activity groups and clubs is that there is a shared interest. Moreover, one doesn't have to be a "diehard" to check out the activity and explore that interest. A mere passing interest is generally enough to warrant checking out the activity and the group or club. A group or club dedicated to weekly kickball games generally wants people to come out and give it a try, but there are unlikely to be any hard feelings if you ultimately decide that it isn't for you.

If you are struggling with loneliness and feelings of isolation, it can be worth your while to seek out an activity group or club that interests you. That can be a particularly good idea following the end of a relationship when your ego is likely bruised and your confidence is diminished. Of course, you shouldn't hesitate to seek out professional help if your feelings of loneliness and isolation are more severe, particularly if you are entertaining ideas of self-harm or suicide. But for less severe cases of loneliness and isolation, an activity group or club may be just the ticket to help you to meet your emotional and psychological needs for companionship, acceptance, and a sense of belonging.

Feel free to click on the links below if you are interested and feel free to share them with people that might find them interesting or helpful.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all! 😁🎄🎁🎅🤶

"Playing D&D Can Save Your Life"

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Playing D&D Can Save Your Life

"Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Loneliness kills." The above quote is from Dr. Robert Waldinger, the caretaker for the Harvard Study of Adult Development, an 80 year study that fo...

"What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness"