Impending Storm? (Revisited)

As I mentioned in a previous post, I do not intend to regularly repost material from my previous blogs to A Pirate on the Prairie. That isn’t going to be much of an issue regardless of my intent one way or the other, as I deleted my two earlier blogs. Very little material from the past remains. Anyway, I came across the post below and I decided to repost it. Why? Because I think that it conveys something that I learned from a previous encounter with a long-lost love.

I hesitated a bit before I decided to repost it here. I feared that it might come off a little bitter and, as such, might mislead someone as to the intent. It likely did come off a little bitter back when I originally posted it, as I did still feel quite a bit of bitterness towards this person that had hurt me. But I still believe that the point that I was trying to make then and now is valid. Namely, that when you reconnect with someone from your past that has not been a part of your life for years, they may not be a good fit for you now. Considering that they have not been a part of your life for years, it is entirely possible that they were not such a great fit in the past either. Conversely, things may have changed enough between the two of you that now you would go together like peas and carrots.

We likely all have friends or former loves that we can see again after years apart and it feels like we can just pick right up where we left off because little has changed and because of the pre-existing love and goodwill. Even if we both have changed, we may still be a good fit for some future relationship with one another, particularly if no spectacular blow-up or drama precipitated the previous parting. Even a bad ending with hurt feelings is no guarantee that a future friendship or even a romance is impossible. Granted, if things ended badly years earlier, it is entirely possible that reconnecting with an old friend or love could ultimately end badly once again. But it isn’t a given. Moreover, even if a future relationship isn’t an option, it isn’t out of the question to get together, catch up, have a great time together, and to go your separate ways with no plans for anything more. There is certainly nothing wrong with that.

I have felt no great angst following any of my posts on my previous blogs. I wasn’t haunted by anything that I wrote. I had some regular followers and my blogs did get some traffic, but the chances that anyone from my past was surreptitiously following my blogs was admittedly small. But it did occur to me years later after shutting down my blogs, that someone from my past reading this particular post might be discouraged from reaching out to me.

To be clear, there are people from my past that I have no interest in reconnecting with, just as I expect that holds true for some people that once knew me. But if someone wanted to reach out to me, it is entirely possible that I would be agreeable to that prospective reunion. I have, to my recollection, only communicated to a couple people that I never care to see them again. For what it is worth, I can only recall one person telling me point-blank to never contact her again. It would be worth mentioning that a threat was attached to that particular demand, so as the title of the Jimmy Buffett song goes “If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me.” I don’t know if she really meant what she said in anger, but the accompanying threat has ensured that I never really contemplate reaching out to her to find out if she was sincere or just angry. 😉

So with all that being said, read the post below and consider the message if you find yourself facing the prospect of reconnecting with a former friend or love interest. A happy ending is far from a foregone conclusion, but with a modicum of caution a bad ending likely won’t carry the same sting.

👇😐 [original post]

Impending Storm?

Not every person that reenters your life will remain or should remain in your life. It is easy to see the return of someone to your life that you once cared about as a fortuitous event, especially if you encounter this person again after a long separation and in new location. But it is a small world. In a small world you should probably expect that you might encounter people from your past. You might feel as though it was a beneficial twist of fate or good luck that led you to reconnect with this person from your past. But not all luck is good. People change and not always for the best. Sometimes they haven’t changed for the worst; they have just changed. Sometimes you have changed. Sometimes you both have changed. Perhaps it is simply that circumstances have changed. The takeaway is that they may no longer be a good fit in your life. You may no longer be a good fit in their life.

Reconnecting with a long lost love or friend might turn out to be a beautiful sunny day in an otherwise dark season. But much like a hurricane or tornado, their return to your life may leave a path of devastation and heartbreak behind them and ultimately leave you to pick up the pieces afterwards. Also, much like a hurricane or tornado, there may be signs that forecast the impending storm. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t welcome people back into your life. I am just saying that you should proceed with caution and get to know this person over again with new eyes before you embrace them and allow them back into your heart. Doing so may spare you a great deal of disillusionment and pain.