About That Apology

I saw this advice from an area church and I decided to share it. I had a whole range of thoughts in regards to the advice being offered. Rather than endlessly ponder that advice, I decided to post a few thoughts and move on with the day. Frankly, everyone that reads this advice likely has some thoughts on the subject of forgiveness and apologies.

One thought that I had was that this is great advice regarding relatively insignificant slights from people that are relatively important to us. Sometimes we can create the proverbial mountain out of a molehill. Yet for the sake of the relationship, it can sometimes be best to assume that the other person would be apologetic if he or she knew that we were hurt or offended. Sometimes we should just choose to forgive them and to let go of any resulting anger or hurt.

Another thought that I had regarding this advice was that even for some relatively significant slights, it can ultimately be a good idea to forgive someone and to move on just for our own emotional and mental health. This can be particularly true when a relationship has come to an end. And much like being denied the opportunity to get closure may require you to create the closure that you seek, you may have to forgive a slight against you in the absence of an apology. The person may legitimately feel badly for hurting or offending you. Then again, they may not. But for the sake of your heart and your ultimate happiness, you might want to put the hurt and anger in the rearview mirror. That doesn’t mean that the offending party is getting a pass or that you are going to forget what happened. You are just choosing not to let it continue to negatively impact your life.

And another thought that I had was that sometimes in a relationship you have to make your voice heard, particularly if you don’t want to regularly be disappointed or hurt. You may not require an apology, but you need to be heard. It isn’t fair to the other person in a relationship to suddenly hold them responsible for repeatedly pushing your buttons when you refused to communicate your expectations and needs. Communication is an important and essential part of a healthy relationship.

Perhaps I will circle back to this another day, but I wanted to share the advice and I hope that you find it helpful.